Making That Leap

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Today’s post is going to be a bit of a break from all the beauty posts recently, and get a little “deep”. I hope you enjoy!

At the moment, I feel as if I’m standing at a crossroads in terms of my “life plan”. I have a degree in Psychology and the dream before Uni was to become a Clinical Psychologist. So I got the degree, had a pretty terrible time doing it, and left to work in mental health. I plodded along in my first job and then got a new job because I thought I should, and I’m now plodding along in this job. The next step is to get an Assistant Psychologist post, which are like golddust and you have to come with so much experience and a masters and a first and a million and one others things, none of which I have! Mostly due to the plodding along. Ever since my degree, I’ve had this niggling thought that psychology wasn’t the right road for me to travel down, but I didn’t know what else to do so, or what else I’d be good at doing, so I stuck with it out of fear of something different being even worse. A new path has popped up in front of me, which is a pretty new consideration, which is Social Work. This would involve going to University to study a Masters, which carries with it the unknown in terms of the finicial commitment and what I may get, or not get, at the end of it. I also have worked with social workers, but have never before considered it as something I want to do. And don’t get me started on the fear of returning to Uni after my previous experience, as it fills me with absolute dread. Then there’s the little path behind me that I’ve been too scared to look back at before, which is a road to something completely different. This could literally be anything, and the anxiety that comes along with this choice is so overwhelming I can’t think about it too long or my head hurts.

On top of this confusion is that in my current role, it feels like no one stays too long. People leave after 6-8 months or so for bigger and better things (such as Assistant Psychologist posts). So, whenever I receive an email saying “Oh, I’m leaving, come party” I feel a massive sense of jealously. I sometimes think it’s because of the role they’ve left to do, but more recently I’ve noticed that it’s probably due to one of my biggest flaws; I compare myself to people. All the time. For example, there was this girl I met on my induction training, who joined the HCA role at the same time as me, got a new job sooner than me and has now left to do an Assistant Psychologist post, whilst I’m sat here still plodding along. I feel like I’m a failure and I’ve done something wrong as I’m not where she is at the moment. I also feel jealous that these people know what they want to do and are so focused, whereas I’m running about like a headless chicken hoping I fall into something or get pushed. This doesn’t just happen at work. I look at others that started blogging at the same time as me and compare blogs. I think “She has more followers than me” or “She gets more comments than me” and it leaves me feeling down all the time. Or just wondering now the street and think “That girl’s makeup is nicer than mine” or “She has a better outfit on than mine”. You get the picture!

I very much doubt this “comparing” trait is something unique to me. I’ve been trying to stop this for so long now, but I’m starting to realise more and more that everyone is different and everyone’s story has its parts that no one else ever sees. Everyone has arrived at the point in which they meet you where all sorts has happened before, most of which you’ll never know or never fully understand. To begin to compare yourself to someone is almost completely pointless, and it’s a pretty big waste of time that most people could be spending doing something far more constructive. So, I’ve decided that my happiness is the most important thing, and that someone’s happiness should always be at the top of their own priorities too. A career you hate is something no one wants and that regardless of what other people may think or may have achieved, you have to feel comfortable and sure in yourself. I know it’s all well and good writing it down and much harder to put it into action, but I feel much less stressed about my “life choice” as I’ve taken the pressure off as I know whatever is coming my way will be what is best for me at that time.

Not sure if this post will help any of you, but it felt nice to rant and make a plan of how I’m going to make my choice! Do any of you compare yourselves? How does it make you feel?

Thanks for reading!

Alicia x

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10 thoughts on “Making That Leap

  1. Andrea says:

    I compare myself to others all the time as well and really found myself nodding along as I read your post. It’s a really destructive thing to do and really leads to low self esteem but so hard to stop. Interestingly I never compare myself to people that are worse off (in whatever way) than me! I did a Psychology degree as a mature student all set in becoming a Forensic Psychologist. I’d done my research beforehand and thought I knew the commitment I was taking on. I did well in my degree (but at the cost of pretty much making myself ill with stress etc) I got onto a MSc in Forensic Psyc with a massive career development loan. I had done voluntary work and so was lucky enough to get an asst psyc post at Manchester Prison. With 2 children at the time, a full time job I couldn’t stay on the full time path of the MSc so switched to P/T.
    From working in the psyc department I found out how hard it was to progress. As well as completing your MSc you had to get a position as a Trainee Psychologist. As these positions (like the asst positions) were massively competitive plus I didn’t have the option to be able to move around the country, it was incredibly hard. For those that did get a trainee position there then came years of hard work planning, conducting and writing up all the various areas the BPS wanted before they would declare you chartered. I saw colleagues who were a lot younger than me with no children and no commitments taking 5 years (once they had got the trainee position) to complete all of this – having to do all the written work in their own time (to the same standard as MSc/PHD work). The requirements had drastically changed since I had looked pre degree at the BPS site to see what I was getting myself into. With these changes I felt cheated. I was there with a 1st and partway through my MSc earning a measly £15,000.
    I got pregnant with my 3 rd child, took 1 yr mat leave, returned for 7 months then got ill. After being off sick for 12 months they couldn’t keep my position open for me any longer & I lost my job. I was also in the last few months of the Max time I could use to finish my MSc – as I was still ill & in horrendous pain most of the time I had to take a postgrad cert instead. For a long time I felt so hopeless. I felt the effort I had put into my degree had been for nothing & felt despair at losing my job when despite the obstacles, long haul and poor pay I had persevered with the aim of getting chartered.
    When I got better I had to seriously think about what I wanted to do. I decided makeup, saved up and did a course at a private school in London (I live in Manchester). I am now trying to build up my portfolio and hope to start getting paid work.
    Things sometimes happen for a reason. I still sometimes feel frustrated, but I’m still proud that I got a degree.
    I try to use my habit of comparing myself to others to motivate me forward. With work and effort my blog will be better, I never thought about styling an outfit that way, it looks really good how could I do something similar with what’s in my wardrobe, that makeup look is good, I need to try harder to create the perfect flick etc etc are thoughts that I have to turn the comparing into something positive … It doesn’t always work but it’s a start. Sorry this comment is so long, it’s just your post really resonated with me so I felt I should share my experience. Feel free to email me (thompson-a21@sky.com ) if you want to “chat” at all. Stay true to yourself and spend some time considering what you want to do next. You are young and can turn your life in any direction you want. Good luck xxx

    • LissyBeauty says:

      Dont worry, it’s lovely to receive such a long comment! Thank you for sharing your experience, and it’s great to hear that things are getting better for you as it sounded like it would have been so stressful! It must have taken so much strength and determination to try something new after all that effort, especially with young children to. 🙂

      That’s a geat way of looking at things, hopefully I can start thinking differently as I can imagine it would make for a much more positive outlook! 🙂 I’m sure I’ll figure it out eventually, haha. Thank you! 😀

      Thanks very much for reading!
      Alicia x

  2. Through The Mirror (@TT_Mirror) says:

    im having the same exact troubles as you at the moment sweetie! I work in childcare i hate it but i stay because ive been doing it for two years and im scared its the only thing im good at. I want to be able to blog full time, freelance write and freelance photography but i just compare myself to other blogs and think i have no chance or other freelancers who really know their stuff and have degrees and im stuck wayyyyy down at the bottom left feeling like i have nothing. I dread going to work every day because i know there is a job out there right for me but i just dont know what it is. I never went to uni the thought just makes me feel sick with anxiety i looked at a prospectus once to do a degree and had a panic attack! this drew the line for me and i decided i was NEVER going to uni haha! I might do a post on how im feeling at the moment too it always feels better to talk about itbut your not alone!:)

    http://www.throughthemirror.co.uk

    • LissyBeauty says:

      It’s a horrible feeling, isn’t it? It’s best to try and it maybe not go well, than to never try and wish you had! Oh gosh, that’s not good! 😦 yeah, probably a good choice, at least at the moment. Definitely should, I’d love to read it. 😀

      Thanks for reading!
      Alicia x

  3. Arianne says:

    I think it’s human nature for us to compare ourselves to others.. I look at your blog and you get more comments and more followers… but I just try not to dwell on it. I’d rather see you as a friend who happens to be online instead of seeing you as competition… 🙂

  4. Amy says:

    Hey Alicia, i’m in a similar predicament, have a degree, am now 27 earning minimum wage. I’m thinking about doing an OT degree at uni to get me a better job but it’s three years back at uni!!!

    Amy at Amy & More

  5. Zoe Dubs says:

    I’m always comparing myself to others – I think you have to be seriously self-confident/in denial to not care. So glad that you’ve come to terms with doing stuff for you and not anyone else!

    I read your blog a lot but dont normally get to comment because my phone just diiiies – but I’m on my laptop tonight and just HAD to say to something! Keep it up! 🙂

    Love Zoe x

    FaceValueBeautyBlog.co.uk

    • LissyBeauty says:

      Yeah, I think so too, can’t imagine many people don’t compare themselves. Aww, I’m glad you commented, it’s always nice to know that people like my posts! 😀

      Thanks for reading!
      Alicia

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